| Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was | | | | Also known as "Dead at 17," and "Please God, I'm Only |
| added to the overwhelming statistics of drunk-driving, | | | | 17" is a stanching piece that has hailed teenagers and |
| related deaths. One minute, he's full of vitality and | | | | parents alike.As a ritual, this literature is ground into the |
| attending our local high school, the next his | | | | core of my thought processes. Not too long ago, we |
| unsuspecting parents are identifying him in a local | | | | were all faced with enticements of "...let's go to that |
| morgue. The harsh reality of this brutal scenerio is | | | | party...", "...come, on...it's only a few miles up the road. |
| sometimes very difficult to comprehend."Where did I | | | | He's not drunk...he's only had a few beers...." "Sure she |
| go wrong?" "Didn't I talk enough with my child?" "I | | | | can drive...she's done this a million times before..." And |
| thought he knew better..." "I assumed he was just at a | | | | all too often, teenagers fall to peer pressure because |
| friend's house..."These, and various other queries, are all | | | | they want to be cool, popular or part of the "in-crowd." |
| similar questions parents tend to ask themselves after | | | | Sadly, many do become victims of psychological |
| an incident or accident involving DUI or DWI (Driving | | | | pressure tactics.There is not a week that goes by that |
| Under the Influence, or Driving While | | | | I don't think of "Only 17." Being a mother of two |
| Intoxicated).According to MADD (Mothers Against | | | | teenage kids, the thought is a constant in my mind. As |
| Drunk Driving), NHTSA (National Highway Traffic | | | | a parent, it is imperative that we adamantly involve |
| Safety Administration) and the NIAAA (National | | | | ourselves in our childrens' lives. I'm not saying that we |
| Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism), | | | | become overbearing and intrusive, but we must |
| | | | demand intolerance of drinking and driving. While most |
| Parents' drinking behavior and favorable attitudes | | | | teenagers will experience with alcohol at some point in |
| about drinking have been positively associated with | | | | their growing-up years, we have to learn to expect it. It |
| adolescents' initiating and continued drinking. (NIAAA, | | | | is not a question of if, it's a matter of when.And like all |
| 1997) | | | | parents, we don't want to accept the fact that our |
| Youth who drink before age 15 are four times more | | | | child or children would engage in sometimes-lethal |
| likely to develop alcohol dependence than those who | | | | behavior. But it can happen to the best of families. |
| begin drinking at age 21. (NIAAA, 1997) | | | | Drinking and driving doesn't simply effect a certain |
| Underage drinkers are responsible for between 10 | | | | stereotypical group of persons - it doesn't have a |
| and 20 percent of all alcohol consumed in the United | | | | preference of social, economical, racial, geographical, |
| States. (NAS, 2003) | | | | and sexual lines. No, peer pressure is out there, and if |
| In 2002, 29 percent of 15 to 20-year-old drivers killed | | | | you're not paying attention and interactively pursuing |
| in motor vehicle crashes had been drinking. | | | | the matter, your child could become a statistic.One of |
| Twenty-four percent were intoxicated. | | | | my beliefs is to continuously talk with my children about |
| Research continues to show that young drivers | | | | drinking. I wasn't born yesterday, so I know that alcohol |
| between 15 and 20 years old are more often involved | | | | is waiting at the ready. What do I do about it? For |
| in alcohol-related crashes than any other comparable | | | | starters, I have ritually engrained the fact that drinking |
| age group. Alcohol-crash involvement rates, share of | | | | and driving kills. Period. Since they were old enough to |
| the alcohol-crash problem and alcohol-crash risk all | | | | understand the principles of drinking and driving, I have |
| reach their peaks with young drivers, with the peaks | | | | made it a point to "be there" for my kids. You see, one |
| for fatal crashes occurring at age 21. (NHTSA, 2001) | | | | of the biggest problems with teenagers is that if you |
| Based on the latest mortality data available, motor | | | | isolate them with negative communication, it can |
| vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death for | | | | virtually destroy any attempt of "keeping them safe."A |
| people from 15 to 20 years old. (NHTSA, 2003) | | | | encouraging opening line to your teenager might be, |
| Of course, statistically speaking, the list could go on | | | | "...although I don't condone drinking, please call me - no |
| and on. All too often, we as parents get caught up in | | | | matter where you are, no matter what time it is, |
| the daily grind of work, household chores, and other | | | | whether you're drunk or not, or if you're somewhere |
| engagements. Sometimes we forget how to prioritize | | | | you weren't supposed to be. I'll come and pick you up. |
| our committments. Ironically though, it is our teenage | | | | It's not cool to get into a car with someone who's been |
| children who suffer from our own strategies on | | | | drinking - ever. I promise not to be angry with you. I'd |
| making their lives more comfortable.John J. Berrio | | | | rather you come home alive than dead."This is |
| wrote a shocking but enlightening, infamous piece on | | | | something that I say to my own teenagers - every |
| teenage vehicular-related death based on a friend's | | | | chance I get. And with a season of holidays upon us, it |
| son:Only 17Agony claws my mind. I am a statistic. | | | | is even more vital that we communicate with our kids. |
| When I first got here I felt very much alone. I was | | | | Holiday statistics show that there is, on average, a |
| overwhelmed by grief, and I expected to find | | | | nearly 50% overall chance of a traffic-related fatality. |
| sympathy.I found no sympathy. I saw only thousands | | | | What unnecassary risks are we willing to take? Not |
| of others whose bodies were as badly mangled as | | | | only is talking with our children crucial, it is important to |
| mine. I was given a number and placed in a category. | | | | stay involved in our childrens' lives. Knowing where |
| The category was called "Traffic Fatalities."The day I | | | | your child is - is NOT intrusive. Knowing what your child |
| died was an ordinary school day. How I wish I had | | | | is doing - is NOT intrusive.Set guidelines for your |
| taken the bus! But I was too cool for the bus. I | | | | teenagers. We can't protect them from everything - |
| remember how I wheedled the car out of Mom. | | | | that's a fact of life. There are just some things that we |
| "Special favor," I pleaded. "All the kids drive." When the | | | | can't do as parents - but what we can do is become |
| 2:50 p.m. bell rang, I threw my books in the locker ... | | | | active participants in their lives. Just as we support our |
| free until tomorrow morning! I ran to the parking lot, | | | | children at athletic events like football games, |
| excited at the thought of driving a car and being my | | | | cheerleading sessions, field and track, (just to name a |
| own boss.It doesn't matter how the accident | | | | few), we can support our teenagers from the |
| happened. I was goofing off -- going too fast, taking | | | | sidelines...giving them impromptu examples on how to |
| crazy chances. But I was enjoying my freedom and | | | | be successful, and how to lead life in a fun but |
| having fun. The last thing I remember was passing an | | | | responsible manner.Here are some tips at developing |
| old lady who seemed to be going awfully slow. I heard | | | | open communication lines with your teenagers:1. Cell |
| a crash and felt a terrific jolt. Glass and steel flew | | | | phones are valuable assets in keeping up with your |
| everywhere. My whole body seemed to be turning | | | | kids. Make sure you allow them to use them if going |
| inside out. I heard myself scream.Suddenly, I awakened. | | | | "out to a friend's house..." or "party." Cell phones give |
| It was very quiet. A police officer was standing over | | | | kids a sense of responsibility and most often, they will |
| me. I saw a doctor. My body was mangled. I was | | | | use them to phone you if they're caught in a |
| saturated with blood. Pieces of jagged glass were | | | | desperate situation.2. Keep negative thoughts to |
| sticking out all over. Strange that I couldn't feel anything. | | | | yourself. We may not like the fact that our kids might |
| Hey, don't pull that sheet over my head. I can't be dead. | | | | drink; we might even be boiling over with anger - but if |
| I'm only 17. I've got a date tonight. I'm supposed to have | | | | they do drink, don't slam them for it. The next time, |
| a wonderful life ahead of me. I haven't lived yet. I can't | | | | they may not call you.3. Access. If you know that |
| be dead.Later I was placed in a drawer. My folks | | | | there might be a possibility of drinking, talk to your |
| came to identify me. Why did they have to see me | | | | teenagers. Don't assume that Billy-down-the-street |
| like this? Why did I have to look at Mom's eyes when | | | | who comes from a "good" family won't be offering |
| she faced the most terrible ordeal of her life? Dad | | | | liquor or beer. Reiterate your position on drinking in a |
| suddenly looked very old. He told the man in charge, | | | | positive declaration, but at the same time, reinforce |
| "Yes, he's our son."The funeral was weird. I saw all my | | | | your availability to them. This could be a |
| relatives and friends walk toward the casket. They | | | | make-or-break life, preserving decision on your part.4. |
| looked at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen. | | | | Resolve. When we acknowledge the fact that kids |
| Some of my buddies were crying. A few of the girls | | | | may drink alcoholic beverages, we aren't so shocked |
| touched my hand and sobbed as they walked | | | | and disturbed when it does occur. The number 1 rule |
| by.Please, somebody -- wake me up! Get me out of | | | | for combatting drinking and driving issues is to stay |
| here. I can't bear to see Mom and Dad in such pain. My | | | | informed, stay alert and never assume anything. We |
| grandparents are so weak from grief they can barely | | | | were all teenagers once and we know how quickly |
| walk. My brother and sister are like zombies. They | | | | events can change for the better or worse. It's up to |
| move like robots. In a daze. Everybody. No one can | | | | us as parents to instill proper attitudes about drinking |
| believe this. I can't believe it, either.Please, don't bury | | | | and driving so to prevent alcohol-related traffic |
| me! I'm not dead! I have a lot of living to do! I want to | | | | fatalities.In closing, I encourage folks to let their children |
| laugh and run again. I want to sing and dance. Please | | | | read, "Only 17." It is, by far, the most impressive piece |
| don't put me in the ground! I promise if you give me | | | | of literature of our time. If you don't know how to talk |
| just one more chance, God, I'll be the most careful | | | | to your children, seek private counsel so you can. Our |
| driver in the whole world. All I want is one more | | | | youth is the vital component our existence - they are, |
| chance. Please, God, I'm only 17.By John Berrio | | | | afterall our leaders of tomorrow. Invest in them today |
| _________________________This | | | | by being an integral part of their lives. |
| well-known story has been circulated across the globe. | | | | |