| Jeffrey showed up at one of my 5-Day Inner | | | | love that is always within and around us - |
| Bonding Intensives to deal with his | | | | the love that is our Source. |
| alcoholism and resulting relationship | | | | |
| problems. His past two marriages had ended in | | | | As a result of learning and practicing the |
| messy divorces. His business was falling | | | | 6-Step Inner Bonding process and connecting |
| apart. Yet in the face of all of this, | | | | with himself and his spiritual Guidance, |
| Jeffrey could not or would not stop drinking. | | | | Jeffrey no longer wanted to drink. The |
| | | | alcohol was filling up the inner emptiness |
| Two things were immediately apparent in my | | | | caused by his self-abandonment and |
| first session with Jeffrey. First, he had | | | | disconnection from his Source. He left the |
| completely abandoned himself, making others | | | | Intensive with no desire to drink. Jeffrey |
| responsible for his self-worth. Due to his | | | | has been alcohol-free for many years now. |
| unwillingness to take responsibility for his | | | | |
| own feelings, he was constantly pulling | | | | Rachael had been struggling with her |
| others for approval with his "niceness." His | | | | alcoholism for 19 years before attending an |
| inauthentic saccharine niceness felt like | | | | Inner Bonding Intensive. While she had a |
| sticky glue trying to ooze its way into | | | | strong belief in God, she had never felt a |
| having control over getting others' approval. | | | | deep and personal connection with God. Like |
| Needless to say, it was not working for him. | | | | Jeffrey, she had used alcohol to fill the |
| | | | emptiness and avoid the pain that came from |
| Second, he had no spiritual connection, no | | | | her own self-abandonment and disconnection |
| Source to turn to for love, comfort and | | | | from her Source. Rachael was constantly |
| guidance. As anyone who has attended AA | | | | judging herself as inadequate. Until the |
| knows, being able to turn to a spiritual | | | | Intensive, she had believed that her pain was |
| Source is essential for healing. The support | | | | being caused by others' behavior towards her |
| of the people within the program can help | | | | - others' judgments of her. At the Intensive, |
| sustain abstinence, but true healing comes | | | | she discovered that she was not a victim - |
| from the inner spiritual connection. | | | | that her pain was being caused by ignoring |
| | | | her feelings and judging herself, as well as |
| No one had ever confronted Jeffrey with how | | | | by not speaking up for herself with her |
| much they were put off by his controlling | | | | husband and family. |
| niceness. They would just go away, leaving | | | | |
| him to wonder what he had done wrong. At | | | | As Rachael learned and practiced the Inner |
| first, when the Intensive participants told | | | | Bonding process, she started to attend to her |
| Jeffrey about feeling pulled at for approval, | | | | own feelings and make the connection between |
| he felt hurt. But within the loving energy of | | | | her pain and her self-judgments. She also |
| the Intensive, he was soon able to open to | | | | started speaking up for herself. As she |
| learning about the gift they were offering | | | | opened her heart to her Source, to her |
| him. He was able to see that, because he was | | | | feelings, and to the beautiful essence within |
| abandoning himself by ignoring his feelings | | | | her, she discovered a joy that she had never |
| and judging himself, he was handing others | | | | felt in her life. The inner emptiness and |
| responsibility for his feelings of worth. | | | | anxiety that had been her constant companions |
| | | | were gone. Gone too was her desire to drink. |
| Once Jeffrey opened to how alone he felt | | | | |
| inside when he abandoned himself, he was able | | | | Addictions are caused by self-abandonment - |
| to move into compassion rather than judgment | | | | by ignoring your feelings, by judging |
| for his feelings. As his heart open to | | | | yourself, and by closing your heart to your |
| compassion for himself, he began to feel the | | | | Source. They can be healed. |