| Jeffrey showed up at one of my 5-Day Inner Bonding | | | | feel the love that is always within and around us - the |
| Intensives to deal with his alcoholism and resulting | | | | love that is our Source. |
| relationship problems. His past two marriages had | | | | As a result of learning and practicing the 6-Step Inner |
| ended in messy divorces. His business was falling | | | | Bonding process and connecting with himself and his |
| apart. Yet in the face of all of this, Jeffrey could not or | | | | spiritual Guidance, Jeffrey no longer wanted to drink. |
| would not stop drinking. | | | | The alcohol was filling up the inner emptiness caused |
| Two things were immediately apparent in my first | | | | by his self-abandonment and disconnection from his |
| session with Jeffrey. First, he had completely | | | | Source. He left the Intensive with no desire to drink. |
| abandoned himself, making others responsible for his | | | | Jeffrey has been alcohol-free for many years now. |
| self-worth. Due to his unwillingness to take responsibility | | | | Rachael had been struggling with her alcoholism for 19 |
| for his own feelings, he was constantly pulling others | | | | years before attending an Inner Bonding Intensive. |
| for approval with his "niceness." His inauthentic | | | | While she had a strong belief in God, she had never |
| saccharine niceness felt like sticky glue trying to ooze | | | | felt a deep and personal connection with God. Like |
| its way into having control over getting others' | | | | Jeffrey, she had used alcohol to fill the emptiness and |
| approval. Needless to say, it was not working for him. | | | | avoid the pain that came from her own |
| Second, he had no spiritual connection, no Source to | | | | self-abandonment and disconnection from her Source. |
| turn to for love, comfort and guidance. As anyone | | | | Rachael was constantly judging herself as inadequate. |
| who has attended AA knows, being able to turn to a | | | | Until the Intensive, she had believed that her pain was |
| spiritual Source is essential for healing. The support of | | | | being caused by others' behavior towards her - others' |
| the people within the program can help sustain | | | | judgments of her. At the Intensive, she discovered that |
| abstinence, but true healing comes from the inner | | | | she was not a victim - that her pain was being caused |
| spiritual connection. | | | | by ignoring her feelings and judging herself, as well as |
| No one had ever confronted Jeffrey with how much | | | | by not speaking up for herself with her husband and |
| they were put off by his controlling niceness. They | | | | family. |
| would just go away, leaving him to wonder what he | | | | As Rachael learned and practiced the Inner Bonding |
| had done wrong. At first, when the Intensive | | | | process, she started to attend to her own feelings and |
| participants told Jeffrey about feeling pulled at for | | | | make the connection between her pain and her |
| approval, he felt hurt. But within the loving energy of | | | | self-judgments. She also started speaking up for |
| the Intensive, he was soon able to open to learning | | | | herself. As she opened her heart to her Source, to her |
| about the gift they were offering him. He was able to | | | | feelings, and to the beautiful essence within her, she |
| see that, because he was abandoning himself by | | | | discovered a joy that she had never felt in her life. The |
| ignoring his feelings and judging himself, he was handing | | | | inner emptiness and anxiety that had been her |
| others responsibility for his feelings of worth. | | | | constant companions were gone. Gone too was her |
| Once Jeffrey opened to how alone he felt inside | | | | desire to drink. |
| when he abandoned himself, he was able to move into | | | | Addictions are caused by self-abandonment - by |
| compassion rather than judgment for his feelings. As | | | | ignoring your feelings, by judging yourself, and by |
| his heart open to compassion for himself, he began to | | | | closing your heart to your Source. They can be healed. |