| In the previous article we talked about things but you | | | | would and makes it more difficult for the drinker to |
| should not do. In this article we'll talk about things that | | | | deny having a problem. Having a number of people |
| you could do to make it more certain that your partner | | | | involved in the confrontation may also provide a |
| will do something about their drinking. As suggested in | | | | ready-made support network. It may also deflects |
| the previous article as the partner of the drinker you | | | | attention away from yourself as the partner of the |
| should not fall into the trap of co-dependency, that is | | | | drinker, although be careful that attention may return |
| living the life reacting to the behavior of the drinker. It | | | | again when you are alone. |
| is difficult to not fall into that pattern, however that only | | | | It also helps if you are a positive and offer help and |
| reinforces the drinker's behavior and increases the | | | | support. If the drinker suggests going to the doctor, |
| anger and resentment felt by the partner. | | | | rehab or AA than be positive about that encourage |
| Instead you need to start thinking about yourself you | | | | it. One way you could be very encouraging is to |
| need to start living you need to start having a life of | | | | suggest accompanying the drinker as they seek help. |
| your own. Spend time with friends, join clubs, find | | | | However it is extremely difficult and frustrating to wait |
| things that interest you. If you can do this has a | | | | for the drinker to come to a decision to change or |
| number of consequences. First you might actually | | | | seek help. Indeed it is very tempting to try and force |
| enjoy it, it may be some time since you actually had | | | | the issue. Many toddlers are drinkers try to force the |
| time to yourself and did things for yourself. Second | | | | issue by leaving pamphlets or information booklets in |
| you may find that it takes your mind off some of the | | | | prominent places that the drinker will find them. |
| problems and you worry less, and you are less | | | | Others have invited members of alcoholics |
| stressed. Third it may say send out a signal to the | | | | anonymous to visit the house to talk to the drinker. |
| drinker but you're no longer spending your life waiting | | | | The difficulty with both of these strategies is that if the |
| on them in this change in the environment can often | | | | drinker is not open to discussion about the drinking than |
| lead to the drinker to start considering their own | | | | it may actually offer an excuse for further or |
| behavior. For they may stop to believe that if they | | | | prolonged drinking. |
| do not change the name may be alone. | | | | Despite what some authors and commentators say, |
| Some commentators suggest that you should confront | | | | confrontation, either direct or indirect through literature, |
| the drinker. In some cases this may be the right thing | | | | is not always was the right thing to do. It works in |
| to do, however be careful. If you do confront then do | | | | some situations it most definitely does not work in |
| not confront if the drinker is intoxicated. Also the | | | | other situations. What does work is to start and live |
| very careful about confronting if there is a history of | | | | your own life. It does not necessarily require that you |
| violence, you probably know the risks of the situation | | | | move out of the marital home, instead it may be that |
| better than anyone but remember and be cautious. | | | | you carve out a life for yourself, independent of the |
| Make sure that you're safe and be doubly cautious if | | | | drinker but still within the home. This may or may not |
| that are children involved. One method of | | | | lead to the drinker changing or seeking help must and |
| confrontation involves getting family and friends as a | | | | will lead to much more satisfying and fulfilling life for |
| united unit to do the confrontation. This does have a | | | | yourself. It will also be much better for any children in |
| number of advantages. It presents a united front | | | | the relationship. |