| According to Alcoholics Anonymous, alcoholism is a | | | | began to wonder if I truly was an alcoholic. You see, |
| two fold disease, a physical allergy coupled with an | | | | without working any type of long-term recovery |
| obsession of the mind. As a recovering alcoholic and | | | | program, I simply forgot what it was like to be |
| from experience, I can tell you this is true. | | | | consumed by alcohol. Looking back, I knew deep inside |
| In the movie, Day's of Wine and Roses, a friend | | | | I was an alcoholic, but still wanted to see for myself. |
| describes the allergy aspect of alcoholism to Jack | | | | Seem moronic doesn't it? So one night I decided to |
| Lemon, "How many strawberries does it take to start | | | | have a glass of Merlot with a nice steak. Now I don't |
| an allergy? And which one gives you hives? | | | | remember if it was two days, a week or a month |
| Alcoholism is an illness. It's pretty hard to diagnose an | | | | before I had that next drink. But when I put that wine |
| illness until you've got it." While the physical aspects of | | | | (alcohol) in my body, the obsession began. When |
| the allergy are somewhat medical and beyond the | | | | would I drink again? How much could I drink? Could I |
| scope of my expertise, I do know quite a bit about the | | | | handle it this time and not let it get out of control? |
| mental obsession. | | | | Within a few short months I was drinking as much or |
| The obsession of the mind is one of the more baffling | | | | more than I was in 1997. The disease of alcoholism is |
| aspects of the disease of alcoholism. As the saying | | | | progressive, it always gets worse, never better. There |
| goes in recovery concerning the drink, "one is too | | | | are no exceptions. Even after extended periods of |
| many and a thousand is not enough." One of the most | | | | abstinence, the alcoholic can and will obsess about the |
| important things for a recovering alcoholic is to stay | | | | idea of having a drink. Unless the alcoholic is working |
| away from the first drink. Once the first drink is taken, | | | | some type of long-term recovery program, the |
| the mental obsession becomes simply overbearing. | | | | obsession will continue and at some point the alcoholic |
| Whether the next drink is a day, a week, or even | | | | will give into temptation. The idea that he/she may |
| months away, the mind is always thinking about when | | | | someday drink like a normal person is something that |
| and how they will get their next drink. | | | | every true alcoholic must deal with. They must learn to |
| On March 16th, 1997 I woke up and decided to stop | | | | accept the fact that this is just not true, and that they |
| drinking. Prior to that I had been drinking roughly 2 liters | | | | will never be able to drink with impunity.A healthy |
| of vodka a day. When one is drinking that much | | | | recovery program helps deal with the obsession, |
| alcohol on a daily basis, you cannot simply stop without | | | | keeping it in perspective and eventually it goes away. |
| some serious medical side affects. I ended up in ICU | | | | A recovery program helps the alcoholic deal with |
| and the hospital for six days going through a severe | | | | underlying emotional issues that may contribute to their |
| detox process. I vowed to myself and promised my | | | | drinking. In my case, I did not even realize I had |
| mother never to drink again. In my opinion, this is a | | | | emotional issues until I truly began working a recovery |
| promise that a true alcoholic cannot make. | | | | program.I perceived myself as this great outgoing, |
| Over six years went by before I had another drink of | | | | loving, and optimistic person. After all, I had a great |
| alcohol. I thought about not drinking almost everyday, | | | | childhood and was surrounded by people who loved |
| however I would not say it was an obsession. With | | | | me. What could possibly be wrong with me? I have |
| that said however, I was not working any type of | | | | discovered in recovery that there were issues deep |
| long-term recovery program. I was simply practicing | | | | down inside myself that I needed to address. Unless I |
| abstinence. What I know now is, without some type of | | | | continue to work some type of long-term recovery |
| recovery, or alcoholism treatment program, specifically | | | | program, one which continues to increase my spiritual |
| one which increases my spirituality, I will drink again. | | | | and holistic growth, the chances of maintaining |
| And for me to drink is to die. | | | | long-term sobriety are slim. |
| So what led to that first drink after six years? Well, I | | | | |