| When you live with an alcoholic that always apologizes | | | | Then you start to wonder if they will ever say they |
| for hurting you, eventually the apologies do not mean | | | | are sorry and mean it. This is the worst feeling in the |
| much. If the person continues to do the things that they | | | | world. You are doubting their sincerity and you start to |
| keep saying their sorry for, you have to wonder if they | | | | doubt other things that they say to you including that |
| ever meant one word of the apology. This is a | | | | fact that they love you. You start to think how they |
| common feeling. You can only listen to apologies so | | | | could do this to you repeatedly if they did love you. |
| many times before you start to think that it is a | | | | Now, you not only live with an alcoholic, you live with |
| programmed response that has no meaning. Alcoholics | | | | the doubt. This can eat away at you to no end. This is |
| are great at saying that they are sorry, but they have | | | | when the trust starts to fade. |
| a hard time not doing the same thing again. When you | | | | After years of hearing sorry, you just do not believe |
| love someone, this is hard to understand. | | | | them anymore. You doubt every word they say to |
| The first time something happens, they will be sorry | | | | you and you cannot believe anything that they say to |
| the next day. This is because they have sober up and | | | | you. The home is no longer a home. It turns into a |
| more than likely, they have a memory of what they | | | | prison that you made for yourself. You now have |
| have done or you have told them. They will be sweet | | | | more confusion and do not know what to do. You still |
| and apologetic because they truly are sorry. However, | | | | care for the person, but you wonder if you could ever |
| they can promise it will never happen again, but when | | | | love that person again. The times of happiness are |
| they drink, they have no control over what they do. It | | | | gone and all you are left with is drinking and broken |
| can happen again. This time it might be a little worst | | | | promises. |
| then the first time. After the first time, you felt content | | | | You lose all hope and feel all alone. You want to leave, |
| to believe them, but if it happens again, you have to | | | | but you feel as if you owe the person something. You |
| think about whether or not they really meant it. | | | | can become withdrawn and hopeless. You may even |
| Once it happens again, and they say they are sorry, | | | | wonder why you should be the only responsible and |
| you have to start wondering when it will happen again | | | | sober person in the home. You start to feel all alone |
| and again. This is the hardest part of living with an | | | | with no one to turn to for help. You look for answers, |
| alcoholic. You never know for sure if they mean | | | | but you find emptiness. You wonder what to do next. |
| anything that they say. You start to doubt their love for | | | | Your life has not turned out as you expected it to |
| you and wonder why they never lash out at anyone | | | | when you first met the person and you need |
| else. Sometimes they do, but it is rare for an alcoholic | | | | happiness to live. You turn to someone else or you |
| to just go off on someone that did not provoke them, | | | | turn to the same demon that took the love from you. |
| accept you. | | | | |