| I have been married for almost fifteen years to what | | | | This went on for about five years, then one day I |
| was once a lovely young lady, 8 years my junior. We | | | | came home and she was not there. Neighbors had |
| had a healthy, happy baby boy during our first year of | | | | stopped by an she had been very lethargic and yellow |
| marriage. I landed a good paying job with great | | | | in color throughout her eyes and face. They had taken |
| benefits and I was able to pay all the bills and still have | | | | her to the hospital, partially against her wishes, but by |
| money left over at the end of the month to save for a | | | | doing so they had saved her life...on that day. |
| home. | | | | The news she got that day was that she was |
| Everything seemed to good to be true, since we were | | | | suffering from liver failure. Her options were clearly |
| both surprised that we were even married to each | | | | spelled out for her: Quit drinking, or die. Well, that, and |
| other. Everything happened so fast. Our engagement | | | | stay clean for 6 months, get picked up by a transplant |
| found us traveling here and there on a whim. We | | | | team, get a liver transplant when one becomes |
| would just jump in the car and go wherever it was we | | | | available and live a normal healthy life afterward. |
| would go to. We mainly took day trips, but sometimes | | | | Right? Too easy? Of course.... |
| we might stay overnight. We were in love, no doubt. | | | | My wife continued to drink, and does to this very |
| Even when she found out she was pregnant we still | | | | evening as I sit here and type this. She never stopped, |
| found the time to get our sightseeing in, and after our | | | | even after being told she had options. We have a |
| son was born we were quick to take him along. | | | | handsome, wonderfully smart 15 year old son who she |
| Then it happened. Slowly at first, then it became more | | | | will not put down the beer for. What parent would |
| noticeable. Money came up missing from bank | | | | choose alcohol in place of seeing their child graduate, |
| accounts and from around the house. My son's piggy | | | | go to college? Get married? Have children? I cannot |
| bank was even lightened and at first I suspected that | | | | understand why or how she can be so selfish as she |
| a close family member was taking advantage of | | | | drinks herself nearer and nearer to death. |
| access to our home while babysitting our son. This | | | | She has told me in the past few days that she is |
| was soon cleared up after talking to bank employees | | | | afraid to die. She has admitted to me that she made |
| who confirmed that it was actually my wife who had | | | | mistakes in her decisions. She has admitted to me that |
| been withdrawing funds at a record pace with nothing | | | | she wants to see our son graduate and progress |
| to show for it. | | | | through his life. She has told me she knows she will not |
| My investigation went on to discover ATM | | | | be around to do so. |
| withdrawals, out of sequence checks being written for | | | | How can I feel sorry for her? How can I show |
| "cash" and more missing money from around the | | | | sympathy for someone who has given up on herself |
| house. My coin collections had disappeared, and my | | | | and has chosen to continue drinking alcohol instead of |
| son's collection of "state quarters" assembled by his | | | | choosing to be a parent for her son? How can I |
| great grandmother had vanished. I feared the worst | | | | continue to love someone who is not the woman I |
| because everything pointed to the possibility that my | | | | married, but instead is a drunken shell of her former |
| wife had some sort of drug problem. She denied | | | | self? |
| removing any checks, "state quarters" or any of my | | | | I live with verbal and mental abuse every day. I live on |
| coin collections for her own use. I called pawn shops | | | | limited means as I have been laid off for over a year |
| only to find that the coins had been sold and there | | | | from my machinist job where I made automobile parts. |
| was no way to get them back. I was devastated and | | | | I refuse to leave without my son but I cannot leave him |
| did not know where to turn. | | | | in the care of someone as unstable and unpredictable |
| I immediately began speaking with her parents, of | | | | as her. |
| which I had a good relationship with. They agreed to | | | | My son understands completely what she is doing to |
| back me 100% if it became apparent that their | | | | herself. He also understands I am unable to finance our |
| daughter was in fact suffering from some sort of | | | | escape from this misery, just yet. I know we need to |
| addiction. I did discover some abuse of pain pills, but the | | | | get out of this household and strike forward on our |
| main addiction was to alcohol. Evil alcohol. It'll change | | | | own. I know it won't be easy, but it will be necessary. |
| the person you thought you fell in love with, let me tell | | | | Alcoholism is a miserable life for those who suffer. |
| you. | | | | Families of alcoholics suffer as well. Support is out |
| After I discovered that my wife was addicted to | | | | there for us all, alcoholics and the families of alcoholics. |
| alcohol, she reacted as if she was "relieved" that I now | | | | I chose the services of Alcoholics Anonymous, first. I |
| knew her problem and began drinking profusely. I | | | | was steered towards Ala-Teen for my son and I to |
| estimate that she spent between $300-$500 dollars a | | | | go talk with people who are going through similar |
| month on beer, and an unknown amount accessing | | | | situations at home. |
| pain pills from her friends at work. I wanted to help her | | | | It does not help to hide when you realize you are living |
| get help to fight off the urge to destroy herself, but | | | | with a family member who is addicted to alcohol, or |
| she was blinded by her drinking and didn't care who | | | | drugs. You must try to get them help, but you must |
| she hurt to get her beer. | | | | also realize you are not at fault. Making decisions with |
| She continued to lie, manipulate, steal, coerce and | | | | a level head is paramount in this scenario. Seek out |
| demand ways for people to get her beer. It got to the | | | | counseling services for yourself and other family |
| point I had to sleep with my pants on so I could know | | | | members if need be to understand what the addiction |
| where my wallet was at overnight. The days of | | | | is about and how you can help the addict at home. |
| leaving my spare change on the dresser were long | | | | You will be glad you did something, before it's too late. |
| gone at this time. | | | | |