| Coping in an alcoholism marriage or living with an | | | | realize. Keep in mind that the only person who can |
| alcoholic, or addict of any kind, is exceedingly difficult. | | | | change alcoholic behavior is the alcoholic. When the |
| Living with an alcoholic in your life can make life seem | | | | alcoholic doesn't acknowledge his disease, the |
| impossible. Every day you are walking on eggshells. | | | | problems escalate at an alarming rate. Denying the |
| Life may be stressful, uncertain, or just plain bad. One | | | | problem or covering up doesn't help at all. |
| thing is certain. It is never easy coping with an alcoholic | | | | You have to stop wallowing in a pool of pity and tears, |
| in your life. It's a roller coaster of a ride. | | | | as that will never help you get out of this situation. You |
| Life is challenging enough without having someone with | | | | need to start seeing your life as a separate entity to |
| a substance abuse problem in your life. With an | | | | the alcoholic's. As big as their problem is, it is yours, too. |
| alcoholic, life can be just plain unbearable. You never | | | | You need support, encouragement, untainted love, and |
| know which face the person will show or how the | | | | joy in life. As much as you want to and should |
| person will react in any circumstance. | | | | separate yourself from this problem, it is your problem |
| Alcohol tends to make individuals more impulsive and | | | | too. When you're coping in an alcoholism marriage you, |
| to decrease their ability to restrain their aggression. But | | | | also, need help. Somehow you became ingrained in |
| if it's any consolation, a drunk is not as dangerous as | | | | patterns that alcoholism formed, and you need to find |
| an alcoholic who cannot get his daily quota of drinks. | | | | a way out of these patterns. |
| This does not mean, however, that you should keep a | | | | What you need to do is to create your own support |
| warehouse full of the best liquors in the house, ready | | | | network of family friends. Know what you can get |
| for the alcoholic. Spouses and children are affected | | | | from them. Some may be close enough to be |
| indirectly when they are living with an alcoholic. The | | | | available at all hours while others may be able to be |
| effects can vary from being withdrawn to being | | | | there if you need someone to listen. Give others a |
| enablers of the alcoholic parent or spouse. | | | | chance to help out with whatever you need. |
| Alcohol creates distance. Drinking isn't an alcoholic's | | | | Those who have not lived through the experience of |
| first love, it's the only love. Until that bond is broken, no | | | | coping with or living with an alcoholic will only be able to |
| one else will be allowed in. When a person is so totally | | | | help to a degree. They will not understand the daily |
| focused on obtaining and drinking alcohol, then that | | | | trials, the emotions, or the overall experience that you |
| becomes the main relationship in that person's life. It is | | | | are currently living. For this type of insight and |
| not their significant other, their children, or even their job. | | | | understanding you'll have to turn to those who have |
| Their one relationship is the one that they have with | | | | been through these circumstances. The best place to |
| alcohol. All their desires, all their efforts go into their | | | | turn to for this level of understanding is Al-Anon. |
| dance with alcohol. Everything else becomes | | | | You can learn ways of helping the alcoholic in your life |
| secondary. | | | | and, most importantly, ways of helping yourself. You |
| It is easy to get caught up in the problems of an | | | | can learn that your happiness is not dependent upon |
| alcoholic and to make that your entire world. Coping | | | | anyone but you. You do not need someone else to |
| with an alcoholic we lie to protect their jobs (because | | | | give up alcohol for you to be happy. You do not want |
| as far as you know it's the only time he stays sober). | | | | alcoholism to steal your life as it is stealing the life of |
| We catch them in one blatant lie after another. Coping | | | | your loved one. Coping in an alcoholism marriage isn't a |
| in an alcoholism marriage is tumultuous and tiring. Family | | | | life. It's an existence. |
| members often find themselves just as involved with | | | | Help your loved one as much as you can, but create |
| the disease as the alcoholic. As a general rule, men | | | | boundaries so that this help does not rob you of your |
| tend to desert their alcoholic wives, whereas women | | | | life. It doesn't help anyone to sacrifice your life over |
| often stand by their alcoholic husbands. | | | | something you cannot control. Maintain your own |
| Loved ones try to change or "fix" the alcoholic, which | | | | happiness, and when your alcoholic spouse gets help, |
| is rarely possible. It's like expecting a lemon to be an | | | | he or she can join you in that happiness. |
| apple. Drinking is a much bigger issue than most people | | | | |