Alcoholic Spouse - What Happens When Only One Spouse Decides to Quit Drinking Alcohol?

p>It is very bad luck for a child to be born into anHowever, his home life was stained. He no longer
alcoholic family that has one alcoholic parent. However,drank alcohol when he and his wife went out to dinner
it is truly the worst luck to have two alcoholic parents.with friends. His alcoholic wife continued to get drunk
As a psychiatrist that specializes in addiction, this is notright in front of him. Many times, he often left early
an uncommon scenario. Not only are their children atwithout her or chose to stay at home with their
twice the genetic risk of developing an alcohol problem,children.
the chance of both alcoholic parents remaining cleanHis alcoholic wife continued her alcoholic behavior. She
and sober is not very high.drank nightly with friends and slept a good part of the
Here is a case from my psychiatric practice:day. On several occasions when he was out with her,
M.F. and S.V. met in college. At that time, every onehe almost had an alcohol relapse. He felt angry and
around them was drinking and using drugs so that theirresentful watching her drink.
drug and alcohol use did not stand out. However, theyM.F. tells me he is very judgmental toward his alcoholic
are both thirty years old now and have a son in 8thwife even though he has had a significant alcohol
grade and a daughter in 4th grade. M.F. and his wifeproblem himself for so many years. Now that he is
S.V. have continued drinking excessively with noclean and sober, he realizes that his wife spends her
significant periods of sobriety (except S.V. during hertime either abusing alcohol or suffering the effects of
pregnancies).alcohol. She barely participates in the family other than
M.F. is a successful entrepreneur and his wife is a staygetting their children to and from school. The children
at home mom. They go out with friends almost everyhave essentially been raising themselves.
night and basically use and abuse alcohol. M.F. decidedConversely, his alcoholic wife complains to him that he
to get a psychiatric evaluation because he feelsis acting self- righteous about quitting drinking alcohol
depressed and anxious over his financial difficulties. Hiseven though he has been clean and sober for such a
formerly successful business took a downturn duringshort time. M.F. confides in me he is thinking about
the tough economic times of the last several years.divorce unless his wife chooses to quit drinking alcohol.
I prescribed a medication to prevent alcohol withdrawalThis case illustrates the strain on an alcoholic family
and explained that an antidepressant would not workwhen either the alcoholic husband or alcoholic wife
for his depression if he continued his alcohol abuse. Ibegins recovery before the other one follows suit. The
explained that alcohol is a central nervous systemspouse in alcoholic recovery quickly sees the
depressant and actually causes depression.tremendous impact of alcoholic behavior on the family
He committed to staying clean and sober for 8 weeks,and is no longer as tolerant or supportive of his/her
but would not agree to go to Alcoholics Anonymousaddicted spouse.
meetings. He just wanted to try to quit drinking alcoholIn my 21 years of practice, the best scenario is for
for several months to see if he could do it.both alcoholic spouses to be recovery together. If one
M.F.'s mood improved significantly after 4 weeks on anof the alcoholic spouses refuses to quit drinking alcohol
antidepressant medication. He had minimal cravings foror will not consider any alcohol treatment options the
alcohol (I put him on an anti craving medication as well).chance of the alcoholic family staying together is very
He was much more much effective at work andslim. Families Anonymous is an excellent 12 step
faced problems as they arose. He said he felt on topprogram to help alcoholic families.
of his game.