| p>Children who grow up with an emotionally abusive | | | | is very busy with his practice. However, she goes out |
| alcoholic parent suffer life long consequences. Ideally, | | | | with her girlfriends for lunch every day and has 2 |
| you should feel nurtured, safe, and happy in your home. | | | | glasses of wine. When she comes home, she has |
| When your parents consistently meet your needs, you | | | | another glass or two or three of wine and watches |
| feel valued and loved. This is not the case for children | | | | TV in her bedroom. She often calls a friend to pick her |
| growing up with an alcoholic parent where their needs | | | | kids up from school since she is in no shape to drive. |
| often get ignored. An alcoholic mom often sets the | | | | When her kids get home, their Mom is laying in her bed |
| tone of the house (this may be true of an alcoholic | | | | "out of it". Her 11 year old daughter tells me she hates |
| dad as well) which is usually a tense and chaotic | | | | coming home and seeing her mom. If she puts on |
| environment. Often, there is verbal, physical, and | | | | music, her mom yells at her, "What is wrong with you? |
| emotional abuse. Think of how terrible it must be for a | | | | Turn it off, it is giving me a headache". She says her |
| child to be called abusive names by a drunk mom (or | | | | mom is always in a bad mood and cries a lot. |
| dad). The child does not even know if his mom will | | | | She wonders why her mom does not care enough |
| show up at school or soccer to pick him up, or if he will | | | | about her to quit drinking. Her older brother helps her |
| see her passed out on the couch again when he gets | | | | with her homework. They make their own dinner |
| home. Many times, the children in these environments | | | | because their dad comes home late. When their Dad |
| learn to raise themselves (get meals, finish homework | | | | gets home, there is often a blow up with a lot of angry |
| on their own, help take care of their mom etc.) or | | | | words because his wife continues her irresponsible. |
| depend on older siblings who should not have to | | | | Occasionally, their mom gets so angry, she pushes or |
| shoulder the level of responsibilities they do. | | | | slaps their dad. He never hits her back, but occasionally |
| Here is a case I treated in my practice that illustrates | | | | throws things. Both children have witnessed many of |
| this: | | | | these fights. Sometimes they go run to another room |
| Amy is a 32 year old stay at home mom with 2 kids | | | | and cover their ears. |
| (8, 11). She is an alcoholic. Her husband is a lawyer and | | | | |